Cute Egg Octopus Lunch （たまごとたこごはん）

A year ago I learned how to make a delicious Japanese snack called 'tamago' which simply translates 'egg'. It was described to me as an Omelet of sorts. It an excellent little lunch and is fun to play with. The idea of the tamago's preparation is to result in an egg log that, when cut, has rings like a tree. In order to create this appearance the eggs are cooked in canola oil and then rolled back and forth into logs. Once you roll the egg in one direction then you add a little more egg mixture (and canola if needed) to the pan. Then you roll the log in the opposite direction until all of the egg mixture is used. After the log is prepared it can then be sliced into strips revealing the neat little rings, organized, and decorated with condiments.

Purikura Online

Okay! So to get started on your Octopus Lunch you will need eight ingredients.

• 5 Eggs
• 1/2 tbsp of Thai Fish Sauce
• 1 tsp of sake
• 1 tbsp of soy sauce
• 1/2 chopped pearl onion or 1 chopped shallot
• 2 tsp of powdered wasabi
• 2 tbsp of canola oil
• 1/2 tbsp of sugar
• salt to preferred level..(optional)

These measurements are all adjustable to fit your palate, but this is a good place to start.

Once you have the ingredients together mix the fish sauce, sake, soy sauce, onion, sugar, and wasabi in a liquid measuring cup. Add in the eggs into the mixture and beat moderately.

Warm canola oil in a frying pan over a medium heat.

make sure you have a little extra canola oil nearby in case you need to add a little so the eggs continue to cook properly.

Then comes the rolling !  ^.^ 

Phase 1

Phase 2







Phase 3







Phase 4

Phase 5

Complete




At this point lay the tamago roll on your cutting board and pull out a large sharp knife.

The roll is cut just just like a loaf of bread. <(o.0)>

 At this point you are ready to plate and decorate your delicious tamago roll! I made mine into a cute little octopus/jellyfish. Tell me what you would like to make yours into below!

Itadakimasu!

Delicious Autumn

This is going to be a two in one post...first I love to cook I find it to be fun and relaxing. Sometimes making the perfect dish takes time. I have been a little short on cash lately, and when that happens you have to get creative sometimes.

                                          Chicken Savory Pie (lard crust)

At the beginning of the summer my husband and I loaded up on good from Sam's Club to ration out for the summer. Everything has gone according to plan to keep us in food during the summer semester. We purchased large quantities of fish, chicken, and beef. We added jugs of soy, canola, and spaghetti sauce. Spaghetti, frozen vegetables, butter, beef stock, and rice for stock. From Whole Foods in Charlottesville, VA we purchased some chocolate, almond flour, tandoori, sea salt, curry, and cardamom. (They carry a broad variety of spices and you don't have to pay a full bottle price like you do at most grocers! Also it helps you save a little if you carry your own spice jars along.) Lastly we were given an absolutely massive bag of flour by my best friend Debbie.

Winding down to the end of the semester here I had forgotten about the flour completely. :-(

But then it dawned on me! I could make a savory pie. I looked up a pie crust recipe online it read as follows.

• 3 1/4 cups flour
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/2 cups cold lard or solid vegetable shortening
• 4 to 5 tablespoons ice water

I looked at the recipe and thought to myself " thats a ton of lard....and a crazy amount of flour. I found that it worked better this way:

• 2 1/2 cups flour
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup cold lard or 1 1/2 cold stick butter 
• 4 to 5 tablespoons ice water
• Spices: I liked it with a mixture of pepper, rosemary, and ginger (optional)

Just put the ingredients in a bowl minus the ice water. If you are using lard the final product will be best if you roll it thickly, but if you use butter it will do better as a thinner crust. I have used this recipe to make crust toppers and a top and bottom style dish...works well either way.

I don't have a mixer so I worked it through thoroughly with my hands until the fat type (lard/butter). It is likely that some flour will still be unmixed in the bowl if you do this by hand; that will fix itself shortly. Add 2 tbsp. of the water and work it through again adding as much flour from the bottom of the bowl as possible. At this point either some will still be in the bottom which means you should add more tbsp a little at a time until it is all together. At this point it will either be smooth or flaky and breaking apart easily.

 If it feels/looks really flaky add one more tbsp of water. it should feel similar to cookie dough but not as sticky when you have reached the correct consistency. You should be able to roll the dough between your palms and it should not stick to them. If it is a little sticky just add a pinch or two of flour to the outside to handle it better. At this point if you are happy with the consistency you have the option to add some spices for flavor. I like to use the spices I listed above, but depending on your filling my mix may or may not go well with your dish. always add any spices you like to taste. This dough does not have egg in it so it is safe to taste a little bit of it to see if the flavor works.

I like to go heavy on the spices myself... be sure to let the finished dough set in the refrigerator for 30 min. at least. While it is setting you have some time to prepare a filling.

For the fillings I have made both a chicken and a beef based pie. In them I used:

•  1-2 cups of frozen peas/carrots/corn or 1/2 green bell pepper, 1 Shallot, 1 dill pickle slice all chopped.
• 1 large chicken breast, chunked or cubed stew beef
• 4 cubes of beef stock base
• 1/2 of  a large pot of water (sorry not more accurate I don't own a liquid measuring cup anymore and I didn't have any wet beef stock offhand)
• 3-4 tbsp of flour as thickener
• Spices: any combination of pepper, tyme, rosemary, sage, curry, ginger, soy or tandoori
• For my Chicken it was rosemary, tyme, and pepper
• For my Beef it was curry, ginger(light), soy(1 tbsp), and pepper
• In both I added 1 cup of almond milk to the base for creaminess! This is totally optional though- its great with or without.

I allow the water to come to a boil and add the spices and beef base. boil med-hi for 15 minutes. While the  water is boiling I begin to cube my meat into either narrow strips or small chunks. Then I bring the base to a rolling boil and add the meat into it. If you meat is cut correctly it should cook in the water in about 30 seconds, so I continually add meat for about 5 minutes in small handfuls. 

I will allow that to cook anywhere between 30-60 minutes over a medium heat. Remember that the longer you allow the meat to cook the more tender it will become. If you do not cook it long enough, because of the method, the meat will be really tough. For the Chicken I cooked 30 min and for the beef I cooked 60 because the cut of meat I had was intended for stir-fry or a slow cooker. (I like to add 1 cup of almond milk to my fillings to make them creamy.) Halfway through the stewing you should add your vegetables and your dough will  be done. 

Retrieve the dough from the refrigerator appx. 15min till filling complete. For a two-crust pie roll out the bottom to fit the pie pan exactly. (be sure to grease your pan- especially if you are doing a bottom crust!) Then for the top, roll it out to appx. the circumference of the top part of your pie dish. (yea no measurements here because they vary) With your crust rolled and your dish ready to go head back to the filling.

Your filling should be close to done now and your entire house should smell like the delicious concoction. To finish up preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Then with the filling add 2 tbsp of flour and mix in thoroughly try to avoid leaving any lumps. Take the mixture off of the heat completely because cooling allows you to gauge the thickness of the filling. It usually takes me between 3 and 4 tbsp to reach a med-light thickness. This is something I am afraid you will have to see what best suits you. Do keep in mind though that it will always be a step or two thicker when it is done and cooled at the end so it is better to under do it than to over do it.

Fill the crust in the pan with your warm filling then place the crust over the top. Carefully move the dough to seal the edges of the pan. If a double crust make sure that both crusts come together and overlap the edge of the pan slightly. As a final touch you have the option to do what is called an egg wash. I always do this for my savory pies, but it is definitely optional.  crack open one egg and separate the white and the yolk. hold the yolk over your sealed crust and break it onto the surface. and cover the top with the yolk until every part is 'washed' in it. This will make your dish pretty and easier to tell when it is done.

Place the dish in the oven for 30-35 min for thin buttery crust or 40-45min for the thicker lard crust The dish is already cooked, but this allows the crust to finish the dish and for the filling to marinate even further. Watch for the top to become a rich golden brown with a darker spot or two. At this point your dish is complete. let cool for 5-10min before eating. Will keep for 3-4 days. 

More pictures!

                                          Beef Savory Pie (butter crust)

                                               This dish takes anywhere from 2-3 hours 
                                                           with appx. 30 min prep.

Writing Mu5ic with Lif3 in Mind

Have you ever noticed that when you sing by yourself you are never singing alone? We were created with adaptation in mind and we adapt effortlessly. There is no need for coercion... There is no need for instruction... 

My best friend and I noticed it during my Junior year in undergraduate school. Things that we take for granted in our everyday thought work cyclically and mindlessly. Unless something in our surroundings are defunct our thoughts continue to weave from one point to the next.

The tinkling of a cat's bell; The heartbeat of an old clock; The hum of a refrigerator; The long sigh of the air conditioning; sometimes the drip from a leaky faucet... All of these sounds surround us and unless a sound is missing it goes unnoticed. We react to them as our natural environment and when we hum or sing along without instruments our environment provides the key, the rhythm and the harmony.

I know, because we are music nerds, that the refrigerator in my old dorm hummed solidly in the key of E. We began to make a conscious effort to hear these tones and rhythms around us. I have long loved experimental, technological, and instrumental music with a passion. I enjoy creative and colorful lyrics as well and these two things are a perfect marriage. It is always inspiring to see how people interact and invent with the environment and words around them.

A few of my all-time favorite composers focus on these concepts to enhance their music and explore new directions. Nobuo Uematsu-former Final Fantasy Series composer, self-taught instrumental and rock musician who has created some of the most memorable moments in Soundtrack music history. He has sold out audiences worldwide with music that is completely instrumental...His music is some of the most popular instrumental music outside of the Classical and House genres. His original inspirations were all written into 8-bit audio back in the 80s...Now they are played by a symphonic orchestra and in piano solo formats; all over the world and on iTunes. My favorite collection from Composer Uematsu is the Final Fantasy IX Piano Solo Collection. I would love to have the opportunity to see the Symphony perform Distant Worlds.

Speaking of the House genre another composer who is finally getting the recognition he deserves is putting out some of the most beautiful electronic pieces I have ever experienced. He has contributed to movie and video game scores, he has performed internationally as one of the best DJs in the world, responsible for the trance genre, he was enthusiastic about the circuit bending community, classical music, instrumental, rock, hydroponic hip-hop, and house. Brian Transeau, BT, is the creator of the Laptop Symphony. He blends natural sounds like rain, cicadas, a baby's coo, vocals, an acoustic guitar, with the stutter, pads, echoes, and distortions of house music. (almost every element recorded or created from scratch!) The man is responsible for a great many musicians tracks, and can create just about anything musical. I feel like his most fun work was on his Album Emotional Technology. His most impressive and memorable work has been on his This Binary Universe and If the Stars are Eternal so are You and I albums. I think among mainstream American musicians I would most like to compose with BT.

I have a lot of favorite musicians and each has a charm that has drawn me to them. I would love to share about more groups in the future like Florence & the Machine, Jon Foreman, or any number of the Japanese and other foreign artists that I listen to. I would love to write (lyrics) with Jon Foreman, but that is another venture for another day. <3 

I have chosen these two musicians because if there is nothing else to listen to I can always count on them. These two men always design music that is memorable, timeless, technical, and inventive. Anyone who can combine all of these elements so perfectly will always be musicians who will inspire me.

-Love-

Ashley

www.btmusic.com

www.ffdistantworlds.com/

na.square-enix.com/uematsu/

Nobuo Uematsu is going to be in attendance at the CELEBRATION 25th anniversary show in Chicago this December.

The Fleeing Dream

A discussion board post in one of my courses today reminded me of an interesting medieval profession. The role of a bard was to observe conversations about great events, accomplishments, and fairy tales. Then a bard would convert those stories into song and would travel from place to place collecting and singing these songs. Although it was not usually considered an honor, or a privilege to be a bard they certainly served an important purpose: to pass along the history, legends, and stories that he had learned from his teacher, and during his travels.

I feel like the work that I complete as a student is a little similar to the way bards collected and related information. My work involves observing those around me in different environments. Recognizing the ways that they interact, what is important to them, what their goals are, and what they have accomplished. I am not merely stalking people like a mad scientist, but attempting to find ways to better communicate with people in a natural and respectful manner.

One of the examples that was given in class was that of a missionary who set out to write music for an indigenous people. He went and accomplished what he set out to do, but later found out that the people refused to sing these songs. The fact of the matter was that they were offensive because the man did not take into account that their language was tonal. This means that the meaning of a word can change drastically depending on emphasis and inflection. Good try sir...Epic Fail---apparently he had the people singing that God did not care about them.

With my study and experience learning about Japanese customs I have even found that we are often guilty of these sort of errors. Lucky for the foreigner that the Japanese are just happy that we are attempting to speak their language. However, there are always little nuances that could get us into trouble.

My position in this is to find a way to bridge these gaps on both the American, and the Japanese side in order to improve business relations within the international music industry. There is definitely a demand on both sides for cultural exchange, but these exciting dreams are constantly being crushed because of poor marketing, poor planning, and stereotypes. (Believe it or not there is a consumer market for Japanese music in America that is not related to the Otaku demographic-although they are consumers.)

Questions that I will have to answer may include:

*How do we convince people to explore music that is performed in languages other than their native tongue?

* How can we better market Japanese music to an American audience?

*How do we invite potential fans to become educated about Japanese culture, history, and language?

*In exchange how can we better promote American music to a Japanese audience?

*How could we better explain American-style audience participation to Japanese fans...and what is the best way to get them involved?

*How do we invite Japanese fans to become educated about American culture, history, and language?

*As a Seminary student you are a Christian. What does this have to do with cultural exchange?

*How do you plan to serve God through your goals?

Maybe I am a little bit like a modern day bard in that my goal is to learn about different histories, legends, and languages. Then I am working towards becoming a professor so that I can teach these things to upcoming generations of students going into both musical, and cultural professions; onto the missions field. Like a bard I will go and learn many things and make a difference along the way to helping people better understand each other. Then I will settle in and prepare others to do likewise.....isn't this also part of what discipleship is all about?

My goal in ministry is to become part of the communities that I live in, and to build relationships. Through these relationships I will simply be who I am. I love discussing the dreams that God has given me, and I have many interests that I love to talk about. The way that I evangelize, and disciple others best is through my natural relationships with them. I enjoy spending time with people and getting to know them. Knowing them and being able to teach, encourage, or support someone when they need it, whether it is a physical or a spiritual need. That is discipleship, and that is my purpose in life. The beautiful thing is that no matter what God calls me to do or where He directs me to go I am always able to serve Him.

Anyways, this is part of what my dreams are all about...don't give up on your dreams when you see them running away. If God has asked you to pursue them...Chase them down relentlessly and put your whole heart into it-knowing that in this...you are also honoring God. God promised that he would see your purpose through to it's completion in Psalm 91. God does not change His mind. Trust Him.

I'm not there yet and there is some school and financial needs in my future, but God has promised to see this through. It is a privilege to serve God and an honor to be an encouragement to those around me. What is your dream?

All the best,

Ashley Watts

Like a Palm in a Storm

       When I started writing this evening I was thinking about thunderstorms. I absolutely love thunderstorms; the more fearsome the better. Lately some life-storms have come and try to tear me down and it seems like I am bending and moving carefully to avoid disaster. Strategically diving and moving in order for the best possible outcomes to result.

     Then in my mind I was watching a storm on the beach with palms swaying with the wind. It occurred to me that this was how I felt...like a palm standing against a storm. In a stream of consciousness after that I completed a little bit of research to see how palms really react to storms.

      The fascinating thing about palms is their strength. Did you know that a palm tree can withstand winds approaching 145 miles per hour? I never really paid particular attention to the behavior of palm trees during hurricanes. I was more interested in trying to figure out how, whatever brave reporter who had ventured into the fray, was able to stand up at all. (Has anyone else ever noticed that they always attempt to carry an umbrella that blows away inside-out? I digress...) For some reason, I also never noticed that the Bible had anything to say about palm trees until tonight.

Fellow blogger Jayson posted the following in regards to palm tree references:

       "The palm tree bends but it won’t break. Monsoon storms and hurricanes can blow most trees away, but not the palm tree. It’s flexible. It can bend all the way to the ground, and when the storm is over it straightens up again and is actually stronger. You were made to bend, not break. God promises to give you ‘…strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy’ (Colossians 1:11). The unfolding of God’s amazing plan for your life will happen as you show your ability to endure."

and a reference to:

PSALM 92:12-14 

Which is:

¹² The righteous thrive like a palm tree
and grow like a cedar tree in Lebanon.
¹³ Planted in the house of the Lord,
they thrive in the courts of our God.
¹⁴ They will still bear fruit in old age,
healthy and green, 

(Holman Christian Standard Bible)

I know that even if I lose something as essential as a leaf is to a palm. Like this tree I am sure to work around that loss for a time. The greatest thing is knowing that even if something important is lost it will grow back; better and stronger than before.

God is continually providing for my husband and I as he has promised us. We have a home, food, and clothing as clearly promised and more. We have family and friends who love and pray for us on a regular basis, and us for them I assure you. We may appear to be crazy, but I have never been happier than when I am serving God. This service enables me to not only know myself and the things I need to change in my life. But also allows me the opportunity to impact others on  personal level. Even if it looks like I have nothing to give you I promise that there is something that I can provide-spiritual support. 

Are you afraid of anything? Are you dead inside and feel as if you have lost hope? Do you have a dream? If so are you pursuing your dream? Do you know what your fate beyond death is? Do you know who you are? Do you feel like there is no where you belong?

There is power in prayer-I promise you that God answers your prayers. We have to be aware that sometimes that answer is yes and sometimes no, but no prayer is left incomplete. There is no sincere prayer that goes unanswered. Pray for protection, direction, peace, or even for a sign if that is what you need. If you believe that Jesus is the only way to be rescued then ask him to rescue you! He is waiting for you to say the words....there is nothing too wicked that you can do to drive Him away. People sin, and salvation does not prevent anyone from committing sin in the future. The difference is that God forgives the sin of those who accept Jesus as their rescuer, and if you listen for His voice he will teach you how to overcome the sin in your life every day. You will not be rejected, and you will not be forgotten. No matter who you have encountered, anyone, including some Christians-even if they have ridiculed you....God loves you unconditionally. 

I would be happy to pray for you-whatever your needs or questions are-I would be happy to support you in that way. Just ask. If being in the middle of a storm has taught me anything it is that God comforts, and God provides. It would be my honor to pray for your comfort and your needs.

All the best,

Ashley

 References

Standing in Awe. http://pangjson.blogspot.com/ (accessed May 28, 2012).

Swift, Dannah. How Do Palm Trees Survive Hurricanes? e-How. http://www.ehow.com/about_6643176_do-palm-trees-survive-hurricanes_.html (accessed May 28, 2012).

Appreciation

Right now I am looking into the face of some very real struggles. This month is going to be hard, but I have some great opportunities coming up soon. I feel like this month is going to be a test of our faith, courage, and trust in God's promise. I find that it is typical of God to come through in strange ways, and always when our concerns are staring us in the face.

A loved friend recently brought up a unique concept of what God may be doing in our lives right now. God took me away from my work before, and I panicked. We were watching everything that we worked for shatter, and ended up trying to run away in various ways. We were shocked and devastated at what was happening. We sought God, and he promised to catch us, but we continually prayed in worry, and desperation. It is possible that we missed out on a great opportunity then by running away. God blessed us anyways, but perhaps in a different way than was originally intended.

        Perhaps it is that God asked us to commit this time to him in this way as a new opportunity to do things right. Our attitude is different, our resolve is solid, we come before him without fear, and with expectation. I am not afraid of what is coming--no matter what it is. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us, and no weapon forged against us will destroy us.

I have miles to walk in this city, and God is not going to let my spirit rest until I have completed His request-to walk the city of Lynchburg, and to pray for the people here. Until recently it was just Gary and I walking and praying for God to really make himself known in this city, and in our lives as never before. Now there are people who would like to join us in our walks, and we will be moving into more of a focus on the people, the businesses, the safety, and the needs in this city, and around us. We are also praying for the town of Erwin Tennessee, and that God would open up the lands there for something incredible to happen. The town is sleepy, but beautiful and waiting for God to renew it. There were several verses in the Bible along with confirmation that we are doing this--I thought you might enjoy the references to what God has done with those who claim ground for Him.

KJV- Joshua 1:3 -Every place that the sole of your foot shall tread upon, that have I given unto you, as I said unto Moses.

Deuteronomy 11:24-(where God tells Moses to claim the ground that he walks)- Every place where you set your foot will be yours: Your territory will extend from the desert to Lebanon, and from the Euphrates River to the western sea.

Jerry Falwell from "Building Dynamic Faith"- "I spent many days walking Liberty Mountain alone and claiming every square foot of it for the university. I claimed Joshua 1:3 as God's promise to me personally." (If anyone has this book I'd really love to borrow it )

Anyone who actually heard Dr. Falwell tell this story knows what God did through him. Liberty University, TRBC, the Godparent Home, Camp Hydeaway, and Snowflex all reside on what was once just grass, forest, and a dream. I am not afraid because I know that God is going to do great things through us. I trust that all of my bills are paid, and all of the people, businesses, and dreams that God has called us to support. I may only be able to support them in prayer now...someday soon we are going to do something incredible-I know it.

We will also be starting a Bible study in our home and anyone who would like to join us is welcome to do so. We will be starting the study in June, and are thinking of hosting it on Monday evenings. We know that there are people around here whose lives are really hectic, and who trust, and identify with us. We would like to have the opportunity to encourage them. I am looking forward to beginning this very much!

Today many things are due, and I am watching to see how God keeps his promise, and answers our prayers. I am excited to share how today ends, and what happens.

I am also excited because my in-laws are going to be visiting this weekend. We have not seen them in some time so it's very special. I will also be spending some time with my family soon, and I am really happy to be able to catch up with all of my family like this it's delightful!

A Little History: School, Goths, and Grown-Ups

What seems like a long time ago I was grade school student. I am sure that someday...those days will seem ever like they are walking away from me. I have always had a loving and supportive family. I have never been abused, molested, or the victim of second hand domestic violence. Yes, I have had struggles and many such as a simple result of my youth. I have also, however, always been respected as one with an older mind. I observed the violence, insolence, and disrespect that student's have for one another firsthand.

I rode on the bus everyday with a six-year-old kid whose language would make your grandmother blush. I was often in physical confrontations with some of my peers. When I was eleven I heard one of my classmates call one of my "sempai" (elder student) a whore, and vividly describe her anatomy. I was teased for my weight, and my "yankee" heritage from age 9. These were all things that were outside of my control, but they made me bitter, angry, and ready to hand out justice...I wasn't the only one either

My rather dark outlook on life flowed into my writing and poetry...which my teachers called...beautiful. The bloody battle, and loss of a unicorns life....The revenge of an abused kid on his mother....The wounds of a soldier......the innocence of a young girl: shattered. I sought to give voice to something that I saw, and never truly understood until many years later.

My family perceived my participation in the Gothic subculture as a phase, or something that I needed to overcome. I think I understand their concern better than I used to. It was about the costuming as a kid because that is how I identified with the anger, pain, and art inside of me, and it is how I supported my friends who often suffered unspeakable wrongs. Some of my sentiments were right, and of course some of it was wrong....believe it or not we were also pretty evenly split between Christian believers, and out-and-out Atheists. (Thus how we got both Skillet, Thousand Foot Krutch, Korn and Marilyn Manson all in the mix- not a lot of middle of the road kind of people)

In adulthood I have seen immense legacies of both overcoming, and failure from the formerly "Gothic" community. I have seen one girl rise from being abused to being a happily married wife, and successful business woman. I have seen a man study hard to reach the "at risk" youth of the east coast with all of his time and passion. I have seen another go on to become a military wife and proud mother, and yet another young man to seek out ways to help men overcome perversion.

It is more often than not that the people who haunt my past have gone on to be sound, thought provoking, and successful people. However, I will not say that I have not seen some fall to sex, drugs, and the like to "escape" their reality( and it takes quite a voice to reach them.) In some cases I have seen the pattern of abuse continue as some succumb. It is tragic to have seen some people follow the very things that they fought so hard against in their youth.

I must say that those who were the most outlandish in their appearance were often victims, either passive or active, of some type of abuse. This was not every case I am sure, but in my circle it seemed like the more elaborate the mask, the deeper the pain ran and as that pain, anger, sorrow, or rejection was resolved....in many cases so were the layers of paint..dye..leather...polish...and poetry.

You may not recognize many of us as "Gothic" anymore, but we are out there- most all dress casual, and jeans..You may not recognize us...for the smiles, faith, and families that many of us now have. But we know who we were, what we went through, and would never deny that it is a part of who we have become.

I want my readership to know that if you need an ear we [My Husband, Myself, and God] are here to listen...whatever your story may be, or whatever background or blemish you think you may have. We won't judge you, and will answer any questions that you have without hesitation....unfiltered. God has called us to reach the world, and the only way to reach anyone is to reach out and touch them in some way.

 

The biggest thing that I needed healing from in all of this was rebellion. That voice that calls you to do something simply because it is contrary to public opinion...because it looks cool, or because it gives you an adrenaline rush. This is something that God has freed me from, and the change was almost immediate. 

 Everyone chooses a path in life--even as a kid, and although I would not necessarily call myself a Goth now I do not regret that aspect of my past. I actually regret very little, because if it were not for my experiences, choices, and passions I might not be the person that you know today.

I would also like to thank those in my family who, even though they have not always understand the things that I have done, have supported me through it all. Also how they always made an effort to point me in the right direction...and how they love me unconditionally-even when they disagree with some of my decisions.

I love you all, and I pray that God blesses everything that you put your hands to.

Thank you so much for your interest!

God Bless,

Ashley

One for the Men

There has been a not insignificant amount of hostility towards Liberty University for its recent choice in visiting speakers. Among these speakers, iconic pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church out of Seattle, Washington. (Who was rumored to have been rejected by the Liberty Board of Trustees, however that was not the case according to a press release from the school.)

He has a lot to say about the role of men at home and in the church. Like the review on my last blog, he promotes masculinity for men and femininity for women. I have seen a lot of hateful remarks about his statements that oppose effeminate behavior in the church. Students, professors, journalists, locals, and citizens of the internet alike all have an opinion to share, and mostly in opposition.

I think that there are a lot of people here who really don't get what has happened. Everyday we are being told not to harass the homosexuals. The media tells us that if we are not supportive of a homosexual lifestyle that we are bigots. Christians are considered to be close-minded and full of hate.

As a Christian I am offended by these messages. I have friends who are homosexual that respect my faith in Christ and don't belittle me for it. Neither do I discount them as friends whom I love and care about. This whole "if you are not supportive of gay rights then you are committing hate" is an utter farce. (None of these friends actually consider the homosexual political agenda to be making their lives any better, and in some cases it is making matters worse.)

When GLBT activists want to use the public schools and America's youth as a political springboard that is recognized as an acceptable cause (e.g., The Day of Silence), even though such a holiday provided motive to alienate, and victimize Christian students. However, if there was a call to support straight students, Biblical or otherwise, they would be cut off at the ankles and left to bleed. They would be called intolerant while being themselves victimized. Such students supporting traditional gender roles would be called bigoted, horrible, hypocritical and heartless. Is this not creating victims and then sealing their mouths shut? Lastly I think that it is horrible that these adult matters are being championed through children...children as young as 6 or 10 who have no or very little understanding of the situation however right or wrong it may be.

However, with the constant bombardment of the homosexual political propaganda, and targeted gay marketing, is it any wonder that our men are becoming more effeminate even if they are straight? Men are harassed for their masculinity by homosexual activists who call themselves victims. I believe that those who would call themselves masculine are becoming more and more silenced as their manliness comes under attack. 

I know of more than a few men who share Driscoll's sentiment. These men are tired of being called predators and as a result of years of pent-up restraint I promise we will see more of this sort of justified rage. I have to wonder why believers do not see conformity to society's love for the effeminate as offensive? 

I know for a fact that even some homosexual men are offended by this because not all gays are effeminate either, as the media would have us believe. So why are some of our pastors and worship pastors conforming to this effeminate metro-sexual image, and projecting themselves in such a manner?

*I am not saying that there should be a witch hunt on homosexuals. What I am saying is that we are passively allowing the effeminate to be glorified in our society while diminishing the value of masculinity.*

*I am also not saying that I agree with everything that these charismatic individuals have to share. Rather that we should respond, not by throwing stones at people who challenge us, but to consider such things rationally first.*

Masculinity & Femininity in Worship

 Today I was involved in a little bit of a debate involving the position of men, and masculinity in church service related worship. The writer Doug Wils discussed a concern for the loss of masculinity in the church. In his post he created a list that was a bit abrasive in its delivery, but did manage to make a valid point. I have observed both in his reader's responses, and in the responses I noted on Facebook that there was a misunderstanding of his topic: Effeminate behavior. This was not a slight of the role that women play in worship, but rather a call to recognize the loss, or criminalization of masculinity.

I actually agree with what Doug was attempting to get across. Many modern churches accommodate an effeminate mentality. (Although Doug is a little excessive with his list.) the point is that his fellow Christians are going to ream him out rather than respect his opinion. I do want to point out that he didn't say that femininity is a bad thing...simply that there is a lack of masculinity in the church. I think a great resource, that paints a little bit of a better example, is "Wild at Heart" by John Eldridge....

In the argument there was an assumption that masculinity is only considered akin to the "Braveheart" mentality. The Braveheart, 300, Gladiator, kind of masculinity where men are warriors, and defenders of their loved ones. I feel like David is an excellent Biblical example of masculinity and faith. People tend to focus only on the fact that David was a psalmist, and worshiped with beautiful language, and an honest heart. I love David as an example of creative musical worship, but he was not only a musician. 

People tend to forget that David was a warrior, and that sometimes God would put a call on him and others to go to war to defend their families, and faith. These wars were not fought with words-they were bloody and violent. Take the story of Goliath's fall...it has been simplified for the teaching of children so as not to jade them with the violence of what David accomplished. (Showing a shot of a young child hitting Goliath in the head with a stone, and essentially causing him to "pass out.") This is a great introductory for children to learn about David. However, the biblical account says that David was a young man (not a child) and that he stunned Goliath with one stone, and then proceeded to decapitate Goliath with the giant's own sword and carried the head around as a trophy of sorts. 

This was an act of obedience and worship to God. The honoring of God, the defense of his family, and in the end the celebration of victory, through God, is all part of worship. I would say that it is acceptable for men in church to worship emotionally, but it is a great disservice to men to discount a warrior spirit of worship. Not to say we should burst into bloody wars during church, but that a battle cry amongst our men to defend Faith in Christ is something that could inspire a fiery passion for God.

On of the responders to Doug's post, Valerie, noted some very interesting thoughts in the interest of complimenting femininity and masculinity in worship.

 Valerie posted this on her blog and I have re-posted this below. If you would like to follow her blog you can access it from the link in this sentence.

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1 Samuel 2 was where my bookmark was this morning. As I read Hannah’s song of thanksgiving, I thought of the hymns of other women in the Bible: Miriam, Deborah, and Mary. (Did I miss any?) So I read them all and jotted down these reflections (edited for public consumption):

• Exodus 15:21 – Miriam’s brief hymn is sung in response to Moses’ longer song. Her song is responsive, not initiative. The occasion was not formal worship, in which case she wouldn’t have been soloing at all. She sings of Yahweh’s violent triumph over the chariots of Egypt.
• Judges 5 — Deborah and Barak’s song is, again, not in the context of worship, but public celebration. Deborah does not lead out on her own, even despite Barak’s less-than-exemplary manliness in the previous chapter. She sings of Yahweh’s marching, which shook the earth. She sings of His fighting the enemies of His people. She rejoices in the death of His enemies.
• 1 Samuel 2:1-10 — Hannah’s song is a personal exultation in Yahweh. She speaks boldly against her enemies because she has Yahweh’s salvation to rejoice in. She rejoices in Yahweh’s triumphs over His enemies by which He delivers His people, and she draws strength and courage from that. In Hannah’s case the enemy wasn’t a mighty army, but a petty personal adversary, but she speaks in strong military terms of how Yahweh put Peninnah in her place. She rejoices that God is the Judge of the whole earth.
• Luke 1: 46-45 – Mary, again in a private context, also rejoices in God as Savior, exulting in His triumph and judgment.

That gives us a few ideas of what feminine worship should look like:

• It doesn’t barge ahead of male leadership.
• It rejoices in God’s judgment, even when it’s violent.
• It is safe and secure in the knowledge of his powerful salvation.

So when wise men write against effeminate worship, they aren’t bashing women at all, because effeminate worship is nothing like feminine worship. Effeminate worship denies male leadership, downplays God’s judgment, and leaves women insecure under the ill-conceived notion that it’s better if both God and men are too nicey-nice to defend or protect them.

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Obedience

When God gives you the green light to do something that he has called you to it will be confirmed. When I took the first step of this journey I was concerned about taking the right steps at the right time. I jumped off two and a half weeks ago and I have received comment after comment about how this is what God wants us to do. The greatest of which has come from people who do not know who we are, or what God has asked of us.

Friday morning I spoke with a man who I have not talked to in a very long time. I did mention that I was following God into a new direction and explained a little bit about our goals, and dreams. He came right out and told me that we are right for following God in this situation. You know that something is real when you are talking to someone who could not possibly be aware of your situation who comes right out and tell you what is going on. I have confidence in what God has asked of me and I will not doubt.

Today was the Jumping off point and I am so grateful for the love, and support of my co-workers. I have never been more sad to leave a job, and of my own decision at that. However, God has already shown himself in little and interesting ways. 

This past weekend I traveled home to my family (who I dearly love) in Tennessee for my birthday.  I received two gift cards as presents, a card to Target, and Khols. Although I do not shop at these locations often they have some wonderful products that I have been looking forward to getting. When I got off work this evening I was wondering what God is going to do next. Gary, and some of my wonderful co-workers helped me load my office belongings into my vehicle. Upon entering the car Gary showed me a couple of coupons that we received in the mail. There were only two coupon booklets, and they came from Target and Khols. The booklet for Target has a special on delicious items, and Khols on ladies clothing & accessories. I find this to be just another fascinating  way that God has shown us that he knows what we have, what we need and provides for us. 

*Reminder* 

My husband, and I are not the only ones who are provided for in this world. Christ has promised to take care of those who have a relationship with Him. This promise can be found in Luke 12:27-40 in its entirety. I have included the New King James Version of this passage below for you. However, I would encourage you to read this on your own. God has challenged us to take him at his word both here and in James 4:2 where he clearly states that we do not have what we desire because we neglect to ask. No matter how much we fight for something be it position, recognition, objects, safety, or money we will not find these things until we seek God in them, and honor God through them.

Luke12:27-40

²⁷ Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ²⁸ If then God so clothes the grass, which today is in the field and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith?

²⁹ “And do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink, nor have an anxious mind. ³⁰ For all these things the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knows that you need these things. ³¹ But seek the kingdom of God, and all these things^[a] shall be added to you.

³² “Do not fear, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. ³³ Sell what you have and give alms; provide yourselves money bags which do not grow old, a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches nor moth destroys. ³⁴ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

(Man who missed out because of his attachment to possessions : Matthew 19:16-22)

Freedom in God is realizing that we have nothing without Him, and need not worry about our possessions. Realize that the longer we hold onto something in fear...the longer we will suffer. The moment that we let go, no matter how reluctantly, the sooner healing can begin. I know that my decision may appear flawed to some, but I am completely confidant in God, and have faith that no matter what I will have no Need to fear.

Gasoline

The past couple of days have made me a little nervous about what is to come. For three days I have been driving on an empty tank of gas. However, with a little bit coming from here and there I have made it to and from work everyday without any trouble.

Yesterday I was speaking with one of my co-workers about our decision to cancel the bankruptcy that we were originally pursuing. Another thing that God made clear to us was that we are going to pay back our current debts. A few weeks ago the first request for payment rolled in and we were able to discuss payback with them. The representatives we spoke with were all very kind and helpful. Everyone was surprised that we had any kind of desire to pay back the amounts that we owe. Tuesday I spoke with another company that I had been in excellent standing with before I lost my job in the spring of two-thousand and eleven. Even after being delinquent for many months they told me that if I could pay them $108 by this upcoming Friday that I would return to good standing with them and only owe a base amt of $25 a month (which is incredible). There is only one company I have not heard back from yet, and that is the monster company that originally sank us. I am glad that I have not heard from them just yet.

The co-worker I was talking with is a woman of God who has encouraged me in this decision. I was speaking with her about it briefly and how God has come through in little ways here and there ever since I put in my two-weeks-notice. We are both confidant that since it is God who asked us to follow him then we will be okay. At the end of our conversation I mentioned that my gas tank had even been holding out for days, and that I wasn't sure how, but I was confidant that I would make it home that evening. The woman, who is also trusting God for many things, assisted me with enough to make it until tomorrow, my last official payday. Also another delightful co-worker of mine overheard the end of our conversation and had her husband bring a gallon of gasoline to put in my car to be sure that I would make it to the gas station. I made it, and everything is okay.

Please continue to pray for us as we move into this time of uncertainty, and decision. We are both going to be taking heavy courseloads this summer. I am trying to decide if I would like to keep my semester long course with 2 on campus intensives, or if I should pick up a third intensive as advised by the Ethnomusicology department. (In fact they say we can take all four required intensives in one summer, but I feel that would be excessive.) I need to make this decision very soon, so any and all prayer is helpful.

Gary just submitted his Academic Suspension appeal, and has been granted the ability to continue taking classes. The Academic appeal was granted, and he has been accepted into the AA: Business as an online student.He should be able to complete the two-year degree in one or two semesters. He may have the first degree as early as December, or as late as next May. Please pray for him as well as he makes a decision on what courses to attend this summer as well.

Thank you for your support,

Ashley Watts

No Fear

When I made the decision to follow Gods voice I was fearful. I was uncertain as to how he would provide, but confidant in my needs. I put off handing in my resignation at work due to such fears. However, God took the time to remind me of what he has done for me, and of a promise that I made to him a long time ago.

In 2005 I worked at a summer camp in Maryland where I learned many great things about obedience. A gentleman named Alex was looking for answers, and where God was at in his life. God nudged me to pray for and encourage him. I refused, citing my own attraction to the boy as a reason not to step up. When that summer came to a close I came face to face with a devastating realization. Alex came forward and honored the people who had ultimately come forward and prayed with him that first evening. He said that he had reached a difficult point in his understanding of God, and that their support and love in that time was dearly appreciated. 

I denied God, and in doing so, myself, of an opportunity to impact someones life with my pathetic excuses. From that day forward I promised God that I would never say "no" to him again. 

In my comfort I knew that God's voice was calling me to leave my job recently. Unlike any other call I have had in my life since that night; this was a challenge. I have been troubled, and distressed over this request for weeks. But, God brought my promise to mind and, although afraid, I put in my two weeks notice last Wednesday. Now I am waiting for my last day with Liberty University's Online Academic Advising to end. I know that God is going to do something incredible, I don't know what, but I am sure that it will become clear in due time.

Since making the decision God has reminded me to be confidant, and not to doubt. Doubt and fear could rob me of his promises and drive me to make plans. Plans that would take me away from what He has asked me to do.

God has asked us (my husband and I) to walk this, the City of Lynchburg, to claim every step for Him. To put a strong effort into my study to pursue my MA: Ethnomusicology towards becoming a Professor. Gary is called to pursue his AA and BS in Business to work towards an eventual MBA to pursue college administration. My husband and I are both going to walk Lynchburg, and anyone who knows this call is welcome to join. We are called to do this with boldness and without fear-which is why I am telling you these things today. 

Anyone who does not feel called to join us is welcome to support us through prayer. You can support us with whatever by sending support to student alhawkins@liberty.edu-Ashley Lynn Hawkins. We are trusting God to provide everythingthing-Food, Clothing, Travel, Research, Tuition/fees. (In detail passport, visa, plane tickets, rent/utilites, classes including online and residential intensive courses.) We are praying that God will allow us to complete our educations, and educational requirements without incurring any further debts.

Bible Verses that have lead me this week. Feel free to look them up:

All of Micah 6-

message: I am going to give you what I promise, but as a warning follow me or you will not have the very things you strive for.

All of Deuteronomy 28-

message: I am going to bless you for listening to me.

Habakkuk 2:2-3

message: Write down the Vision-so that those who see it will also carry it out (why this note is here)

Hebrews 11:1- Faith is the substance of hope, and the realization of things not seen.

Isaiah 54:17-No weapon forged against us will succeed.

James 4:2-You do not have because you do not ask

Psalm 91- God will protect you. No matter how your enemies surround you-they will not harm you.